“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…” — James 1:19 (ESV)

THROUGH THE FOGGED GLASS

At first glance through the arched window above my front door, you might think the glass is coated in a heavy layer of grime.

But step a little closer, and the truth becomes clear: it isn’t dirt at all. It is simply condensation—a quiet boundary formed where two different climates meet, reacting to the contrast in temperature on either side of the pane.

How easy it is to do the very same thing when we look at one another.

We look through a clouded lens and assume we know what someone else is going through.

From where we stand, it’s easy to imagine what the weather is like in their world—assuming it’s warm and bright simply because of the season, when in reality, they may be enduring a cold, quiet storm inside.

Having looked through this same window morning after morning, I know that what shows on the surface rarely tells the whole story.

My heart’s natural instinct is always to help. When I see someone I care about struggling in the fog, I want to step in, offer comfort, and try to clear the view for them.

But experience has taught me a hard, tender lesson: sometimes, in my earnest desire to fix things or offer advice, I can accidentally overstep.

I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that. When I am going through a hard season, well-meaning people often step in with quick advice, wanting so much to help.

Yet, without realizing it, their words end up pushing me away rather than drawing me closer. Seeing how easily that happens to me makes me pause. It makes me wonder how many times I’ve done the exact same thing to someone else—meaning only to love them, but unintentionally driving a wedge between us.

It takes practice and humility to learn a softer way.

I’m reminded of that simple wisdom often shared from the pulpit and in prayer meetings:
“God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.”

True helping doesn’t always look like having the right answers or fixing the climate in someone else’s room.

Sometimes, the absolute best way to love someone is simply to listen—to quiet our own voices, pull back our advice, and just stand beside them in the fog so they don’t have to feel alone in it.